Morning everyone! It's been an EXTREMELY long week and I've gone through alot, but I'm still alive and kickin and doing ok!
For those that have asked me either via email or IM here is the news on my mom that I was telling you about.
My 68 year old mother went into the hospital yesterday for a scheduled surgery. Although it was a lenghty procedure, it was a common one and no problems were expected. But my mom hasn't had surgery in almost 40 years so she was TERRIFIED! It took them FOREVER to give her something in pre-op to calm her nerves, and she finally went into surgery 45 minutes later than scheduled. We were told it would be about 3 hours (we being myself, my sister and my step father). We sat in the waiting room waiting for our "buzzer" to go off drinking coffee/soda and talking. The doctor finally came out and told us that her surgery went VERY well and that she was in recovery coming out of sedation and would be in her room in about an hour. We all let out a huge sigh of relief. About 40 minutes later a volunteer came up to us and gave us her room number and said we could head up there and wait for her to come up, that she shouldn't be much more than 15 minutes or so. So we left the waiting room and headed up to mom's room. We sat there for a while talking and realized it had been almost 45 minutes so my sister went up to the desk to find out where our mom was. When my sister came back to the room she was as white as a sheet and said "We need to get our stuff, she's being admitted into the CCU". I think all of our hearts stopped for a few minutes. We followed a nurse down a series of hallways and were taken to a desk where we were told that she hadn't been brought up yet and we needed to go to the waiting room and they would come and get us when we could see her. It seemed like we waited forever until the door finally opened and a doctor walked in. He was a cardiologist and he was there to explain to us what had happened to mom and why she was being admitted into what they call "The Unit". He told us that the surgery did go very well with absolutely no complications, but that after she came out of sedation they did what they "normally" do and gave her some medication for pain before she was actually feeling any pain. As soon as that medication was give to her through her IV her heart rate did a series of "flip flops" then skyrocketed to a rate of 202 beats per minute. The post-op team rushed into action and gave her a series of medications to "undo" the pain medication they had given her. Within just a very few minutes her heart rate stablized and she was "fine", but because of what had happened, and her age they decided to put her into the CCU so that she could be better observed and monitored. He then told us that prior to having her surgery, during tests that were ran 2 days before surgery, there was an EKG done and that the EKG came back with "abnormal" results, although not "abnormal enough" to postpone surgery, and that while my mom was in the hospital he wanted to do some more blood work and possibly some tests to see what was going on. He answered our questions and told us that he didn't know when, but that they would be bringing her up and just that we needed to sit and wait. That's the worst thing about a situation like this, WAITING! Our wait ended up being almost 3 hours, but she was finally brought up and put into a room. When we were finally called back to see her it was probably one of the worst moments of my life. I didn't know what to expect and when I did walk into her room it was VERY hard to hold back the tears!! She was alert and knew what was going on, but she was as white as a ghost and seemed a bit disoriented to me. It was very obvious that she was terrified, but we all knew she was in the right place! I had made the mistake of riding to the hospital with my sister and leaving my car at my mom's house and my sister had to go pick up her kids from day care, so not too long after we finally got to see mom, my sister and I had to leave. This was the exact reason why I didn't want to ride with my sister, but I gave in because she insisted. So the lesson to learn here is to NEVER leave your car somewhere if you really don't want to! By the time we got back to the hospital the cardiologist was in mom's room talking to her, asking a bazillion questions and getting a health history. I am THRILLED to say that when I got back to the hospital mom had her color back and was not as disoriented as she was when I left. After the cardiologist left her dinner tray came and she cleaned it completely...LOL. Also another GOOD sign! I stayed that the hospital until around 9 p.m., at that time my brother was there, as well as me, my sister and our step father. I looked at mom and realized that she was simply exhausted so I decided that I needed to leave, hoping that everyone else would follow my "cue". Our stepfather was going to spend the night there, so I knew she wouldn't be alone. I told my other family members that I loved them and gave them hugs and said good bye, then leaned down to give mom and kiss. I told her "You need to get some sleep" to which she replied, "I can't, I'm scared that if I fall asleep I won't wake up". I knew it was going to be a very long and difficult night for her, but I knew in my heart that she was going to be fine, the "scare" was over. On my way home I cried and prayed. For the first time in a very long time I also stopped at the cemetary and had a "visit" with my father. I talked to him for a bit and simply told him that mom wasn't ready to be with him again and that I am glad that he let her stay with us for a whlie longer. When I left the cemetary this "feeling" came over me. It was a feeling of peace, for lack of a better word. I just felt like everything was going to be ok. Not just with mom, but with everything else too. I won't go into long details, just will say that it was the most amazing feeling I've ever felt! At that point, for the first time in AGES, the sun came out from under the clouds in time to go down for the night. It just felt like another "sign" to me that everything was going to be ok!
I called the hospital this morning and talked to mom's nurse. She told me that medically mom's night went wonderful and that she forsee's no reason that mom won't be put into a regular room today. But she did say, as I knew would happen, that mom didn't sleep last night. I told her that before I left mom told me she was scared to fall asleep and the nurse said that's what she figured was going on. She then asked if I would like to talk to mom and transferred me to her room. Mom sounded like mom this morning, like she does when I call her in the mornings at home. I mean, she sounded very tired, but she sounded "normal". We talked for a few minutes and I told her that I thought she was going to have a TON of friends/family in and out today that would keep her from resting and that I felt it would be best if I didn't come up today and she agreed. It wasn't that she didn't want me there, it was more that we both knew it would be better for me to be home and just think/pray for her today. She knows that I love her and I know she loves me, we just don't have to be on top of each other 24/7 to know that.
I'll go up tomorrow if she doesn't come home, and if she does come home I'm going to spend the day with her on Tuesday.
Anyway, I've been typing this for over an hour now...LOL. The kids are up and need me. Thank you so much for listening/reading. Please keep my mom in your thoughts and I will keep you updated on how she's doing!
Also, if you can deal with my being on a "soap box" for a few minutes, I'd like to say one last thing. The one thing that has hit me over the past 24 hours is simply that life is too short! Be sure to take the time to let the people in your life know that you love and care about them. Let go of the anger and bitterness, it's simply not worth the time or effort! And be true to yourself!