As we've been packing today, the kids and I have been talking about our lives over the years. We've talked about the ups and the downs, about the really good things that have happened, and the really bad things that have happened. It's actually been a really good day with them (aside from Keith being sick).
It's amazing the things that their little minds hold on to! Kryssy brought up how she lost her hamster 2 moves ago because the little guy was inadvertantly left out in the sun. Now mind you, she was only 7 at the time.
But the thing that amazes me the most is when I think back over the years of all of the moves we've made. Some were those "spur of the moment" moves, where we moved to simply get away. Some were desparation moves, like when we moved to Bush Street rather than going into the homeless shelter, and when we moved here FROM Bush Street to get away from the drugs and hookers and guns! This move seems different for some reason, and I'm not quite sure why. It's almost as if I know this "could" be THE move, you know, the one that will last a lifetime? Yeah, the house does have it's downfalls, as should be expected for an old house out in the country. But there are so many good things about it too!
Then of course, there is the parental "fear". Will my children be accepted by the kids that live out there, and will Kryssy be accepted at her new school? She is such a great student, gets straight A's and last year, on the 4th grade proficiencies, she got the highest marks in the whole 4th grade in her school! But the last 2 years she was in a school where the teachers and staff simply adored her, and went out of their way to see that she got what she "needed". Will the teachers and staff in the new school be the same way towards her? I'm not asking for exceptions for her, just acceptance. She's at that stage in life where acceptance is very important to her, and if she doesn't get accepted she is totally let down!(she gets that from me :o( ) But, I need to let those fears go, and allow her to "find her own way". Because if I continute to protect her so fiercely, she'll never "fit in".
I just know that I'm ready for a simpler more easy way of life! The city is too fast for me, people going at every moment of the day, and they don't look out for you, you have to look out for them. It's as if no one realizes anyone else even exists any more. I've lived in this building for 6 months now and only know the lady across the hall, and another lady down the hall, and there are 32 apartments in this building. Everyone here is RUDE! You try to say hi to them or get to know them and they scurry away like they're doing something wrong and don't want you to see it. No one looks out for each other, and most of the parents don't even care what their kids are doing. Last weekend, the little girl from one of the apartments downstairs hauled off and hit Kryssy across the back and left a horrible mark on her. The mom wasn't even home, and we told her older brother that we wanted to talk to their mom when she got home. When we talked to the mom about what happened, rather than seem "remorseful" for what her daughter did, she got on the defensive and got rude with us. I'm sorry, but that's just WRONG! Parents don't take responsibility for their kids these days like they did when I was a kid. If someone would have came knocking on my moms door telling her I had hit their kid, my mom would have beat my butt!!
Anyway, I need to get off my soapbox here. I'm in no way saying I am a perfect parent, not even close! I have my moments when I wonder what I got myself into. Being a parent is the hardest and most difficult thing I have ever done! And being a parent of 2 ADHD kids has been a trial! But I'm happy with where we are going with their treatments now! Keith is no longer on the stimulant meds. It's been a struggle. He has taken them for so long now, and thus never learned "self control" because the meds did that for him. I feel bad for him sometimes, you can tell he feels "lost" without the meds that have helped him for so long, but I also know that this is the right choice! He is almost 13 now, it is time for him to come into "reality", so to say. He's depended on pills for a good part of his life, not that he's not taking a pill now, but he's not taking a narcotic or stimulant medication anymore.
Anyway, I started this post at 8:02 and it's now 9:27....LOL. In between Keith has thrown up 3 times, and I ran to the store for ginger ale and to get me some dinner. I need to get packing again, so I'll sign out for now. See ya in the morning!!