Saturday, October 29, 2005

101 Things About Me

1. I don't like talking about myself
2. Because I'm scared people won't like me when they get to know me
3. Because I'm one of those people who wants everyone to like me
4. I don't tell my friends secrets
5. Not even to my husband
6. Because he can't keep secrets
7. I'm scared of being alone
8. Because I don't always like myself very much
9. Because I think I'm not a very likeable person
10. I love my kids more than anything in the world
11. I wish they were less like me though
12. Sometimes I think I'm a bad mom
13. Because I yell too much
14. But I always tell them how much I love them before they fall asleep
15. Even if I am mad at them
16. Ric and I have never fallen asleep without saying I LOVE YOU
17. Except for when he was incarcerated
19. I'm glad he's not incarcerated anymore!
20. I'm even gladder that he's changed his life around
21. But I feel like it is my fault that he was incarcerated in the first place
22. Even though he passed away almost 26 years ago
23. I still miss my dad as if he died yesterday
24. I think I'm nuts because of how much I miss him sometimes
25. I feel like the rest of my family has forgotten about him
26. He and my mom adopted me when I was 5 days old
27. I wish I knew my biological family
28. Because it feels like something is missing inside of me
29. But sometimes I think what is missing is God
30. Although I think they're cute, I'm really not an animal/pet person
31. I wasn't allowed to have pets when I was growing up
32. Because they interfered with farm work
33. I'm glad I didn't marry a farmer
34. But I'm even gladder that I live in the country
35. I suffer from chronic seasonal/situational depression
36. Sometimes I think I'd be better off not alive anymore
37. But the thought of being dead scares me
38. Because I know my life isn't where it "should be" with God
39. But I'm not sure if it will ever be "there"
40. I regret the mistakes I made with my step daughter every day
41. I know that I am the reason she no longer has a relationship with her father
42. That is a heavy burden to bear sometimes
43. Because family is the most important thing in life
44. My least favorite thing to do around the house is the dishes
45. My favorite thing to do around the house is bake
46. I am a MAJOR home body!
47. I am addicted to the internet
48. I doubt I'll ever be able to make a living making graphics
49. But I'm still going to keep trying anyway ;o)
50. This is ALOT harder than I thought it would be
51. But now I'm more than half done
52. I am a loyal friend
53. Autumn is my favorite season
54. Followed by Spring
55. I dislike winter very much!
56. Except for the first snow fall
57. I think Christmas is depressing
58. Because I can't do as much for my kids as I'd like to
59. Because my father passed away a week before Christmas
61. Ok, That's enough about my dad
62. I wish I had a better relationship with my mom
63. But I feel like she never really wanted me in the first place
64. And she feels like she has to buy me things every time she sees me
65. When all I really want is for her to hug me first for a change
66. But I love her more than she'll ever know
67. I don't really care much for my sister
68. But I love her anyway
69. I miss having a relationship with my brother
70. But I understand that he didn't appreciate the letter I wrote him many years ago
71. But I wrote that letter because he was passing judgement on something that I knew he was wrong about and could prove that he was wrong
72. But I know today that I can't change how other people feel
73. But I still love him anyway
74. Sometimes I feel alone, even when I'm with a group of people
75. I have a hard time laughing
76. My favorite color is Yellow
77. Because it's cheerful
78. My favorite flower is a Daffodil
79. Probably because it's yellow...LOL
80. It's the next day now, I couldn't finish this yesterday...LOL
81. I'm very tired this morning, even though I slept in until 8
82. I'm happy the temps are going to be warmer this weekend
83. They're calling for a high of near 70 tomorrow!
84. I'm happy that Jen, Kandi and I got the chance to chat together last night!
85. I don't think we've been able to do that since Hurricaine Katrina
86. I'm happy that Jen was able to get away from the Hurricaine and is safe!
87. I love Jen and Kandi more than they probably know :D
88. I sometimes wish I were more political
89. Because those that are political today shape how the world will be for my kids
90. But I find politics VERY confusing
91. And most politicians are liars and I HATE liars!
92. I can take almost anything anyone says or does to me, EXCEPT lying!
93. I'm happy that I finally got new shoes yesterday, but I feel guilty for spending the money on myself!
94. Because I think about all of the other stuff the money could have been spent on!
95. WHOOOHOOO, tonight is time change! Don't forget to "FALL BACK"!
96. Only 5 more after this one and I can stop talking about myself...LOL
97. I'm proud of my son because he has his first "job", even if it's a volunteer job and he doesn't get paid.
98. I'm proud of my daughter because she's trying hard to learn how to play the clarinet, even though she really wanted to play the trumpet.
99. I'm proud of my husband for the way he has changed his life around and how well he is doing.
100. I'm proud of myself for changing my attitude towards our house guest
101. OK, doing this wasn't really "that" bad, why don't you try it too!


1 comment:

Running2Ks said...

Holly, you are so sweet and vulnerable, I can't imagine why people *wouldn't* hug you and why anyone would judge you.

I like what I read, and "HUGGLES"!