Saturday, July 23, 2005

WOW, that's all I can say

Ok, first let me say that I'm doing alot better, was doing alot better when I woke up yesterday morning. I didn't feel sad or depressed about everything like I did on Wednesday and Thursday. I guess I simply accepted that that is how things were going to be and there really wasn't any reason for me to keep hanging on to it, ya know?

So I'm sitting watching tv last night, and the phone rang. It was my mom :O She was calling to see if I could meet her the next night (meaning tonight) for dinner. I said sure, that would be nice, so we made plans to meet, talked for a few more minutes and hung up. I felt pretty good when I got off the phone with her.

Fast forward to this morning. I wake up, oh, about 6 or so. I come out and turn the puters on and go start the coffee. When the coffee is done I pour Ric and I each a cup and I head out here to the puter to start going through my email. After they've all downloaded, I see that I have one in my deleted items, meaning my sister has emailed me because hers is the only email address I have blocked. I ask Ric if he'll come over and check it out because I DID NOT want to start this day off by reading another email ripping me apart. Surprise of ALL surprises, it's an e-card from her. I let it sit there and go through the rest of my email. I actually ended up letting it sit there for most of the morning...LOL. I knew it couldn't be anythign bad, but simply didn't feel like reading it, ya know? It turned out to be a very wonderful E-card that brought tears to my eyes. So I replied back and simply thanked her and told her it was a beautiful card.

Not too long after that, we ran to the store to pick up a few things we needed. While we're standing in the checkout line Ric's phone beeps. Amazingly, it's my sister. I walked away, because I was not going to talk to her in the middle of a store. She talked with Ric for a minute and told him to ask me to call her when I could.

I sat on that one for a good couple of hours. Did I really want to call her? Did I really want to hear her voice? That was the one thing that we hadn't done througout this whole ordeal, was call each other, so I hadn't heard her voice since last weekend. Finally, about 1 or so, I gave in and called her. Hey, she made the first move ya know? It turned out to be a very nice call, we talked a bit, although not about what happened, and she brought up the fact that mom was coming down here tonight to meet me for dinner, then asked if maybe we'd be interested in coming up there to her house. I sat silent for a minute, wasn't really sure what to think, and didn't even come close to know what to say. So, I said "let me ask the kids and see what they say", had to buy some time, ya know? LOL As soon as I asked them they were like YES YES YES, so I said "what time do ya want us there?". I think she was as shocked at my answer as I was to her question. We talked for a few more minutes and I told her I loved her, she said "I love you too, and I'm sorry". I said I was sorry too and that I felt that was all we needed to say, that what happened was in the past and that it was best left there, and she agreed.

So, to make a long story short, we went up there, had a cookout, the kids played in the pool, me, mom, sis, Ric and sis's hubby hung out on the deck talking and we all just kind of chilled. It was a nice day and we all had a good time.

So here I sit, "officially" 40, at my keyboard, drinking a gin and juice and relaxing for a few minutes before I head to bed. 40 isn't that bad so far, at least it's off to a fair start. Tomorrow we're heading out to the beach for the day, weather permitting. I know they're calling for storms early in the morning, not sure about the afternoon yet. I'm "hoping" if we do go, that we can stay out there and catch the sunset so that I can get some pics!!

Thanks for listening to everything the past few days!! It's been rough, but thanks to all of you, I made it through the shit!! Tomorrow's a new day!! LUV YA'LL!!

1 comment:

magikjaz said...

*hugs* sounds like a wonderful 40th to me!